I never did figure it out. Even after I went home post-session and had all the time in the world, no pressure, I still could not get off! I was operating on the theory that my difficulties were mental, but the fact that orgasming was so damned difficult on the day of a session, even by myself.. well.. I found it perplexing. It got to the point where I learned to not even try; I would spend an hour or more frustratedly chasing an orgasm, with me getting more and more relaxed and sleepy. Basically, fighting an uphill battle and when I did manage to come, the orgasm was a bit flat and disappointing -- or, at least, not at all representative of the intense sensations and arousal I experienced in session.
Interestingly, I would wake up the next morning and be raring to go, like everything I felt the evening before was all saved up. Much easier to get off and honestly, much more intense and enjoyable orgasms. So, that became the way of things, enjoying my session with Mistress, dinner with them, my going home to bed, and then waking up the next morning to, erm, finish the job. :P
Even though it worked out and was great, it still bothered me that I couldn't come in session. I mean, it was a real treat when she would permit me the opportunity and I can't express how badly I wanted to. I just, physically, was unable. So weird and so frustrating!
Now, this article lists no citations and there are also some misspellings, which make me a bit skeptical, but it sure does make a lot of sense. Or, at least, anecdotally so, based on all of the sexual experiences I've had. I'd say I know my body pretty well at this point and, as I have said, I find my physical/sexual reaction in session to be completely odd.
One thing we do know: having an orgasm while in “subspace” is biologically next to impossible!
This is because the hormonal chain of events leading to subspace is quite different from the one leading to an orgasm. In the early stages of the route to both “subspace” and orgasm, these chains of events are quite similar. But at some point along the way, the body has to make a choice: either go for orgasm, or go for subspace. One excludes the other. In other words, whenever a submissive tells you he or she “was cumming like there is no tomorrow” that is exactly what has been happening. But, no more than that. There is nothing wrong with an orgasm. On the contrary, in fact. But it just isn't “subspace”....
Here we reach a crucial junction. Once the endorphins production gets well underway, there is a choice to make: are we “going into subspace” or will it be an orgasm today? Remember, one excludes the other. No one knows exactly how or why this choice is being made but - remember, hormone receptors are genetically determined - at least some of that has to be in the genetic code somewhere.
So, why is there such a crucial choice? Well, in order to follow the hormonal route to an orgasm the body now will have to start to produce a group of hormones called GnRH. These will eventually trigger the production of yet another hormone (genadotropine), which induces the production and release of steroids (the “sex” hormones). As soon as the GnRH production starts the endorphins production slows down and finally stops. In other words: no “fountains” -- no “subspace”.
Up to this point your body has produced quite a lot of these “mood hormones” and that is responsible for the feelings of bonding, attachment, affection, security and love. This makes sense, since these emotions - in females especially - are a necessity for the orgasm. This is what some people describe as “floating”. No, that is not one of “stages of subspace”. Actually that is pretty general, normal human behavior and quite necessary.
So, here is again a crucial difference in BDSM-experience - physically and mentally recognisable: if there now will be an orgasm, that is what you go for. And, orgasms are NICE! And very good to have. But …… THEY ARE NOT “SUBSPACE”. The bonding and affection emotions however, can be a first step towards it.