Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Hounded by Exes

I thought queer dating was incestuous, but queer-plus-kinky dating takes it to a whole new level. I like to be friends with my exes, or to at least end things as cordially as possible, but if someone mistreats me or if things felt really bad, my normal course of action is to walk away and cut ties.

I've had a string of relationships this past year or so, in which I came to discover things that I couldn't accept and things ended poorly. I want very much to never hear from them again, but instead, I'm faced with these women constantly due to mutual friends, clubs, interests, and events.

Do you know what it's like to be constantly bombarded by exes that you don't particularly want to see ever again? Ones that you're not on speaking terms with, for very good reason? Maddening, that's what.

There's one that just started being active at club functions, so I feel social pressure to be nice, even though I don't want anything to do with her. One is a prominent bootblack, which means I encounter her constantly through mutual friends and events. Another has gradually become friends with a bunch of my friends, independent of me; two of her best friends are in my club, one of whom has obviously been told a bunch of stuff because her attitude toward me is different than toward other people. I actually extended an olive branch to this ex when we stumbled into each other at Dore and wound up feeling pretty dissed.

I feel like there's some sort of lesson from the universe here, like having to learn to deal with people instead of just cutting them off. I hate it. I like it much better when they go away and I can sort of mentally erase the person's existence.

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