Monday, February 28, 2005

Group Love

The other day I responded to an ad advertising some no-strings-attached sex. The author claims to be a virgin, and what can I say, I have some 'teacher' fantasies. Not roleplaying a teacher, but being the older, more experienced guide for someone who wants to learn. I'm experienced, understanding, and non-judgmental, so I figure I'm a good candidate. The response I got sort of surprised me -- I was invited to participate in a threesome with the advertiser's brother and female best friend.

Now, the threesome thing isn't shocking to me. Once you learn a bit more about me, you will find that very little shocks me, particularly in the sexual world. I love new experiences and I have probably tried more things than I haven't. It's simply that in replying to this particular ad, this was the last thing I expected.

So let's talk about the old menage-a-trois. I have done the threesome thing. Twice, in fact, with a heterosexual couple. The two of them were in their early 20's, had been dating for several months, and possessed both curiosity and a healthy sexual appetite. The guy, E, had a voracious libido and a rather sexually dominant personality, both of which really turned me on. The girl, A, was shy and much harder to figure out. They both were attractive, so no issue there. After meeting, having dinner, and playing an ice-breaking game of Twister (fully-clothed, alas), we dimmed the lights and got down to business.

E was probably the best male fuck I've ever had. A, on the other hand, either was too shy or not into it enough. She obviously enjoyed what E did to her, but when it came to me, she clammed up. I went down on her the first time for 45 minutes, and got absolutely no response. No moans, no squirming, I don't even remember any heavy breathing. I'm not the kind of person who likes to do anything, much less sex, in a vacuum, so after trying my hardest to elicit some sort of reaction from A, I finally gave up. The next time we all met, and frankly I was a little surprised there was a second time, given what I'd perceived to be A's dislike or discomfort of the situation, E pulled me aside and asked, "Can you tell me what you did when you went down on A? She's never gotten off that way and she was really close to coming."

My reaction after blinking at him in disbelief, "She was??" Hard to believe, considering I might as well have been licking a refrigerator, for all the response I got.

Maybe things would have been different if there had been a warmer response from A in general. In between the threesomes, I got together to hang out with E, who had gotten poison oak on his penis, from having sex with A on a hike in the middle of the woods. Kinda funny, but poor guy. And he was such a horndog that he wasn't able to stop jerking off, so healing was much slower than normal. We ended up masturbating together, but didn't go any farther due to his promise to A that he wouldn't touch me.

The second threesome was good, but thanks only to E. He was just so hot and we were totally sexually compatible. And coming from a girl who vastly prefers women over men, that's saying a lot. He liked to fuck hard and rough, liked giving orders and directing activities, talking really dirty, and he was very passionately sexual. But A just so wasn't into it, and I could tell she had some issues with me. I don't know if she was jealous when it was my turn or what, but I just got the vibe from her that these occurrences would be ending shortly. And sure enough, not long after the second time, E called me to say that A didn't feel comfortable with things continuing. Not a surprise, and as I had no ulterior designs on either of them, it was fine with me.

After that, I said to myself that I'd tried it and probably wouldn't do it again. Though... I've always wanted to do an all-chick threesome, but with my luck lately, I'm not holding my breath. It just wasn't as satisfying to me as one-on-one sex is. I don't know whether it was the circumstances, A's reluctance or shyness, or that I simply prefer having the focus be solely on me and one other person.

I was originally considering saying yes to this newly proposed threesome. For one, I haven't had sex in a few months and I'm horny as hell. Plus, I have a new sex blog and it certainly would make for interesting fodder. But the more I think about it, I just don't think I want to.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

To Love Thyself, Divine

I created this blog last night and the subject of sex is, for me, such a broad and wide-ranging topic that I really didn't know where to start. I have so many interests, it's impossible to pick just one. I'm not the kind of person who likes to sit down and plan out every single detail; in fact, I prefer to go through life trying things on and seeing how they go. I'm not entirely sure where I want to take this blog, or even how far I'll get with it, but it should be a fun ride, nonetheless.

Since I never get laid, let's begin by talking about everyone's favorite pasttime: masturbation.

Masturbation can't and doesn't replace sex, the feeling of another hot, sweaty body touching yours, the moans of another person, or being able to enjoy pleasing your partner. The good thing is, in some ways it can be better than the real thing. For one, there's very little pressure or disappointment, and you always get what you want. You are allowed to focus on yourself for as long or as many times as you desire. There's nobody to get in the way, or to stop doing something right as you're about to come.

I'm a jill-off-aholic, can't get enough. Getting off for me is usually a daily occurance. I can't go more than a week without it, or I find myself on the precipice of explosion. I discovered the miracle of orgasm when I was ten, after bragging to a bunch of girls that I'd rubbed my crotch against a stuffed animal. Yeah, I know. I have no idea why I bragged that, though we'd been discussing our half-baked notions of sex, so in context it didn't seem all that weird. Nevermind that I hadn't, or that I had no idea what doing so would bring about. When I was home later that day, it occurred to me to try it out. So I grabbed a stuffed killer whale, lay on my stomach on the bed, and humped its back. The resulting orgasm was quick and intense. I remember having absolutely NO idea what just happened or why, but I had two resulting thoughts: what I'd just done was bad, but it felt GOOD and I wanted to do it again.

I spent the next few years trying in vain to stop masturbating. I knew the facts of life, but no one had ever discussed onanism with me. I didn't even know the name for what it was I did. I knew I couldn't tell my parents or ask them about it; I thought it was an awful, dirty thing, especially since I was completely unable to give it up. I think two years in a row, my New Years resolution was to quit... and then I'd find myself right back at it shortly after.

Thankfully for my conscience, I eventually learned that what I did wasn't really all that bad. Masturbation became a daily thing for me. I remember getting off to various scenes in books, movies like Basic Instinct, the Director's Cut, as well as 2 Live Crew and Green Jello songs. I was a horndog then, and I'm a horndog now. Doesn't take much to turn me on. I also discovered that getting off at bedtime resulted in a natural tranquilizer effect that helped me sleep. Unfortunately, I spent many years doing all this on my stomach, and have basically trained my body that the easiest way is in that position. I've got a rock-hard ass and legs that I attribute to so many years of tensing and thrusting in order to come on my stomach.

I discovered my mom's vibrator in my mid-teens, though the first couple of times I saw it, I honestly had no idea what it was. It was kind of an old-school variety that looked quite like an electric mixer. At some point, I figured it out, and decided to try it when no one was home. Yes, I used my mom's vibrator. Though I think now it's kind of gross, I've always been extremely sexually curious and I had a definite need to see for myself. I plugged the thing in, settled in on my stomach, turned it on, and in about two seconds, I was done. I was amazed, and hooked!

I've learned a lot of things since my naive youth. I laugh at the thought of my younger self, so petrified and guilty that I couldn't stop getting myself off. I still masturbate mostly on my stomach, but have developed some variety. I like to watch porn, for example, so I'll sit in my chair and get off that way. When I was younger, I rarely actually touched myself, skin-on-skin, but I've added that into my repertoire. I have a vibrator. I have toys. Every now and then I like to use a small anal probe to fuck my ass while I get off. If I want to prolong and intensify the experience, I'll do it on my back.

In my case, masturbation has become somewhat of a replacement for sex. I'm sure people would call me a raging slut if my sex life was exactly the way I wanted it, but sadly, I have no one to fuck. So I spend a good deal of time pleasuring myself, instead.