Wednesday, February 29, 2012

'Questions About Your Service Kink'

What is your ideal sort of dominant with whom or relationship in which to give service? What sort of dominant persona and traits do you idealize or prefer as far as giving service is concerned?

I got really lucky, in that I found exactly the type of dominant I had been dreaming about, right off the bat. I wasn't able to put it into words before, but now that I know and serve her.. kind, gentle, but severe and firm when necessary. Highly intelligent (honestly, Mistress has by far exceeded my dreams in this regard), creative, sensual, sadistic, naturally dominant, perverted, exhibitionistic, adventurous. Nurturing, compassionate, fun-loving. Immensely trustworthy in all regards. Someone I can like, love, and admire deeply. As a bonus, she's incredibly experienced and amazing at rope work and wielding any weapon. I'm so freaking lucky (and terribly sad that she's moving across the country soon). :(

If applicable, what would be your ideal sort of household?

I don't exactly know the answer to that question yet... requires more experience. I will say that I am very happy in my current situation, although ideally, it would also include sexual service. Mistress is pretty much the dream girl that I have fantasized about for years but didn't actually think existed and I don't need much more than I'm getting now, but you know.. sex and snuggles would be really nice. Maybe even getting to share a bed with someone every now and then. The toughest part for me right now is having a giant crush on her and having all these sexual wants that can't go anywhere.

Also, ideally, I would love to be owned by someone. That's something I have wanted so much, for a really, really long time. I love hearing the words "You're mine" or "Who do you belong to?"

"What you get back" is part of the question too, although that's been covered more in previous posts iirc. How about--if you have 'service fantasies' of any kind, what do you get back there, is it the same or different from what you get back in reality?

What I get out of it is a very long and complex answer. Short answer is that I get a lot of happiness and personal satisfaction out of helping and doing things for people. I get even more enjoyment when it's a D/s dynamic because the other person is more likely to pay attention to my actions and be appreciative of them.. I feel like there's a bit more to it, where it's like something offered and graciously taken, rather than a plain old completed task. I also admit that it's just more fun and exciting if I know the person is a D-type and they know I'm an s-type, so then the things I do are more chivalrous, service-y, and obviously tailored to serve them.

So far, my service fantasies have been pretty close to reality when they actually happen. I'd always had a fantasy about serving at a BDSM/kink event and I got the opportunity to make that reality earlier this month, when I served at the Service & Suspension Showcase at the Citadel. I know it seems such an odd thing, to enjoy waiting on people, but it's my occupation, I'm good at it, and it's such a treat when I'm able to use my skills toward something fun and enjoyable, like waiting on friends who come to visit me at my restaurant, or something like the Citadel dinner.

What is your favorite type of service, in theory or practice? Any unusual sorts of service that catch your imagination or inspire you?

Well, I won't lie.. I don't love cleaning. I most enjoy the things that aren't tedious or repetitive. I think perhaps what I love the most are things that I only get asked to do occasionally, such as helping her with grooming, jewelry, rubbing her feet, etc. What I wish I could do more of are the things solely for her enjoyment, but she is often uncomfortable simply accepting these things because she sees other things that could be done, she feels strange or selfish sitting back and accepting them, etc. I would be very happy to rub her feet, brush her hair, or whatever else, especially if it was something that would sort of force her to relax, take a few moments to herself, and just enjoy the feeling of whatever it is. I would love for her to revel in my service, as I do... it's a wonderful feeling.


I'm working my way through The Science of Orgasm and it's so interesting that I wish I could post it here!  The authors discuss just about everything pertaining to orgasm; physiology, psychology, evolution, myth, fact... they even address and discuss other studies and findings. Admittedly, this is not exactly brainless reading, but if you're interested in science, the inner workings of the human body, and, well... sex.. I highly recommend this book.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Breath Play
Up until last year, a lot of kink was only theory (i.e. I had read about it, but never tried it, experienced it, seen it, etc.) and I felt extreme trepidation about breath play and a lot of edge play in general. I do enjoy the feeling of someone's hand on my throat, with some pressure, but I never had gone so far as to experience choking or breath control. I just kept thinking, God, that's so unsafe.. what if something goes wrong.. what if the person doing it doesn't do it correctly or doesn't know what they're doing.. what if.. what if.. what if...

I wasn't entirely closed off to the idea, but I certainly was not seeking it out, nor did I expect to participate in said activities, thinking they were 'kink fringe', if you will.

So, imagine my surprise when during a session that I was completely, inescapably bound to a spanking horse, Mistress' hands found their way to my face. It being completely new to me, I didn't realize what was happening until she did it: her fingers pinched my nose shut with one hand and covered my mouth with the other.

It was really a most interesting sensation. No feeling of fear or panic at all. She is extremely capable and experienced, so I trust her implicitly. Just a few moments of quiet, her holding my head like that, while I thought, Huh... this is interesting. She let go to reposition/get a better grip, and I was able to draw a deep breath in anticipation, then she closed off my airways again for a few moments. It was actually more peaceful than anything; I simply relaxed and basked in the feeling of fondness and trust toward her.

One other time that was exceedingly memorable, well, she had surprised me by having me lie on my back with my legs apart, and bound me that way. I was expecting to have the insides of my thighs beaten, but she instead took out her Magic Wand and spent the next eternity (oh man, it was so good and it felt like it lasted forever!) torturing me with it. After she had been at it a while, she'd driven me to an extreme state of arousal, I was incredibly stimulated everywhere, and close to orgasm. My cloth blindfold was pulled down to my neck; she continued to torture me with the Magic Wand in one hand, while reaching to twist and tighten the cloth around my neck with the other. This mostly restricted my airway, causing my moans and groans to be kind of strangled, struggling to draw a breath. Holy fuck, that was so hot.

It hasn't happened much, maybe two or three times so far, but I have to say that I really like it. Talk about handing over total control to someone! And the trust involved? Fucking hot.