Monday, February 10, 2014

FWB: I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think it Means

Don't call it 'friends with benefits' when what you mean is a booty call. 'FWB' has the word 'friends' in it, which means that we are two friends who also happen to be enjoying each other's naughty bits. I don't like being made to feel crazy or needy when the friendship part of the equation disappears and it hurts my feelings. If we are indeed friends-with-benefits, then I won't be sorry for being upset that you ran afoul of my feelings repeatedly. 

My friends don't ignore me. They don't act sorry and tell me that I deserve better and then continue to do whatever they want. My friends don't behave in ways that are carelessly hurtful. My friends take responsibility when they do something that hurts, and then we fix it and our friendship is stronger.

It is not a friends-with-benefits situation when you don't acknowledge correspondence, when every time I ask you to hang out, you say no, you're busy. Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? If the only time I see you is because you've sent me a booty call text late in the evening, you and I are fuck buddies, NSA, fucking booty calls. Nothing wrong with that, but have some compassion for my tender heart and be honest!

If you are my friend, I will care about you. I happen to have a lot of feelings and I feel things deeply -- which I would not choose, by the way, because it makes life unbearably painful at times. If I happen to be also having sexytimes with you, for the love of Pete, please do not automatically mistake my depth of caring for wanting to marry you and have ten thousand of your babies. Seriously, people. I know I'm intense, but you don't have to run screaming.

Anyway. Sometimes I find myself wishing celibacy was a valid option for me.