Honesty

Something I've been thinking about lately is the whole personal ad thing. Of course I have them on various sites, because I'm terminally single and frustrated that I can't seem to meet anyone at all in this town. Maybe I'm unlucky, but the ads never seem to bring about much of substance.

Anyway, in all my futile endeavors, the theme of honesty has come up consistently. I'm equally repulsed and amused by what passes for personal ads, or rather I should say how people sometimes try to pass themselves off in the ads. What kills me is the bizarre phenomenon of inverse attraction of the women who choose usernames like "hotsexybabe6969" and "sexycutie4u". So this, amongst other things, makes me wonder where honesty plays into the game. When is it okay to be less-than honest? Is it okay at all? Is it all right to sort of soften the edges a little bit to make yourself more appealing?

Though I personally avoid dishonesty, sometimes it's not only inevitable, it's the wise decision. I don't advocate big lies about important things, but at times I feel it's needed for saving face or avoiding hurting people's feelings. I'm a Do-As-You-Would-Have-Others-Do-Unto-You kind of girl, and on the other side of it, sometimes I want to be lied to. As much as I appreciate and endeavor toward honesty, the total truth all the time is a real bitch of a mistress -- both giving and receiving. I'm learning to not ask questions if there's an answer I don't want to hear, but I don't see it as a huge deal if it's a little lie about something insignificant to spare my feelings.

This ties into rejection, as well. I wonder about rejection protocol, so I'd like to do a little informal survey. Is it better to let the person know you're not interested (kindly, of course) or to not respond at all? I ask because I personally prefer to not get a rejection letter in the interest of sparing my feelings, but some people seem to like sending them. See, if I don't hear back, I forget about responding in the first place; if they answer with a rejection note, I'm not only reminded that I wrote them, but that they're not interested for whatever reason. I might add that most of the replies I get seem like excuses rather than the truth, but that could just be my wounded ego talking. So, I'd like your opinions on which method you would most appreciate if you were the recipient of the rejection.

In other news, your beloved author shrivels in her sexual drought, goes to live on until she's 70, and becomes the neighborhood Crazy Cat Lady.