I was reading group hug the other day, and one of the confessions was penned by a fellow who had discovered his girlfriend's list of sex partners. It numbered 19, but unfortunately for him, he was number 18. He concluded with, "And why would anyone keep a list?!?"
The truth is, I keep a list. I'd never thought much about it, and reading the guy's question made me wonder. Is it weird to keep a list?
See, I never set out saying, "Gee, I need to start a list of my sex partners." It began with a purity test a few years ago, as a way to count how many people I'd slept with. Yes, they are numerous enough that I couldn't keep track otherwise. I happened to write the list in a notebook, so every now and then I come across it and add any missing names. Maybe it's weird that I like to keep track, but I blame it entirely on my shitty memory and my love of lists. I also can't decide if it's bad that I'm fine with my number (18). I'm not even sure how I got that big of a number.. I mean, it certainly doesn't feel like a lot. It would, however, be so much more if I could ever get laid!
It's not all about the number, of course. I'm not hung up on it or on a quest to elongate my list -- I'm just an oversexed girl who wants to get some. Some people act a little shocked when they find out my number, others don't seem impressed at all, so I can't figure out if I should be ashamed at being such a slut or if I should embrace my studliness. I also am not obsessed with my list, in that I don't rush to add someone's name after a tryst. In fact, if I'm dating the person, I wait until the relationship is over to add them. Adding names while still involved with someone strikes me as rather tacky. Besides, my memory isn't so bad that I can't remember who I've slept with in the past couple of years.
As a slight aside, I recently read an article about the average number of sex partners for men and women. I wish I could remember where I found the article because it was quite interesting. Based on their survey, I am definitely above average for women, and somewhat above the average for men.
So... Does anyone else keep a list, or is it weird? How many partners have you had? Come on, 'fess up!
7 comments:
Haha.. I suppose that's a good thing.
I've got a rather short list myself (currently at all of four). I am a male. I'm interested in increasing it, and even allowed to (open marriage). I just suck at meeting people.
And if you ever feel bad, that your number is "too high" for you one day, one of my wife's friends apparently needs three digits to keep track of her partners. She even has them in a list - in Excel, if I recall.
--Mike
Thanks for answering, Mike. I hope you don't feel badly about your 'short list'.. I think it's not so much about quantity rather than quality. I also think if you're happy where you are, it doesn't matter. I quite frankly would give up my 24 to be passionately in love with someone in a long-term relationship. Mainly because I've had only one, and out of my number, only twice have I had that amazing, earth-moving sex that comes from really being in love with someone. But, as relationships thus far have proved to not suit me very well, I have to continue on and get booty wherever I can find it.
I also am somewhat impressed that the woman you know uses Excel. Very organized!
I don't feel bad about the short list. I agree that it's about quality over quantity. Too bad half of them sucked completely. ;)
Don't tell my wife, but I've found that being in a relationship doesn't particularly make the sex any more earth-shattering. I don't know how to explain it. It doesn't make it worse, but I don't feel it adding anything.
--Mike
Over 50 partners. Way more than half from the time I started at 17 until I committed at 24. After the breakup, then as many as I could. Fun. I'm committed again, but keep things in mind and take it out on my partner. Big SMILE. His numbers are about the same.
That's the thing. Depending on how great the sex was or even if you had an awesome time/relationship with that person, would depend on how to feel about the list. Does that make sense?
I mean the more "not-worth-the-times" vs. "what-an-awesome-time!", would suck. At least I remember feeling that way...
My boyfriend thinks I am a slut for sleeping with 15 men. I am 30 and began having sex when I was 17. Is it really that bad?
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